At first I thought it was THE ONION pulling my leg – I thought haha, got me again …

But nope, it’s real.

So basically they are willing to spend $20 million on a new name campaign, changing corporate signs, getting new urls and junking a million business cards but they’re not willing to spend it on programming – oh, that’s corporate lawyer smart thinking there.

I suppose there are two corporate lawyer thinking reasons. They can’t really copyright the phrase SciFi since it’s too “common,” though of course, their corporate logo and its design is trademark (able) and of course, no other cable network can be launched with the entire phrase Sci Fi Channel … but I’m sure the rational is that “non-nerds” are scared off by the phrase SciFi … as if THAT’s the reason not to watch the network … besides the obviously great Battlestar Galactica that just ended, for a channel called SciFi, they were pretty weak on SciFi. And honestly, people do not really care what a network is called, people will watch a network when they air a show people want to watch and not watch a network no matter what it’s called (Yes, I’m looking at you, NBC). Sure, that seems obvious but to network nitwits, not so much. Do fans of 90210 or the GOSSIP GIRL care that it’s on one of the dumbest names for a network? The CW? Or how dorky is a network named Home Box Office? Named for the part of the theater where you buy tickets? Were you thinking that when you were watching THE WIRE, DEADWOOD or SOPRANOS? No.

So, why waste $20 million on a logo change when you might use it to make BETTER SHOWS that will get people to watch? … because if someone is not watching it as SciFi, are they really going to go – now I’ll watch that low-budget alien lizard movie because it’s on SisFis? (YOU KNOW that’s how people will pronounce it).

Why not STFU Channel? It’s memorable and you can cut back on spending for branding. You tell me people won’t sit bolt upright up when they see STFU on screen? Your target demo of 18-24 will giggle uncontrollably and if anyone over 25 asks, just say, it’s Science, Technology, Fiction and Universal – perfect – it’s giggly, it’s underground, it’s memorable and it’s corporate (SciFi is owned by Universal-GE).

Done.