The latest Microsoft ad that tells everyone an iPod will really cost you $30,000 while a Zune will only cost you $15 a month is really aimed at NO ONE other than Microsoft employees.

Apparently morale is so bad at MS they need a national campaign of $300 million to feel better about themselves.

I’m okay with that – not sure the shareholders are wondering if this is the best way to spend $300 million dollars … but what would be different – MS is one of the few companies to spend $25 BILLION to make $10 BILLION (XBox Division) and since no shareholder seems to mind, just keep on keeping on, I guess.

First the “I’m a PC” ads don’t make for much of a campaign because unlike Apple’s I’m a Mac/I’m a PC which has ONE message per spot, the PC Hunters ads end up contradicting themselves – when the first person insists they only have $1k to spend while the 3rd person says $2k is the right amount to spend because they don’t want to spend a lot, they contradict each other. Or the second person says Macs are for artists while the third PC Hunter says they are an artist? What was the message again? Or that PC Hunters have a few clues about what they want and then randomly drive around town before being sold by an employee at a PC store? The problem is that each ad contradicts or does NOT support the previous hunters so what does it ultimately say about PC Hunters … are you “with” them or not with them? Are you like them or nothing like them?

What is the takeaway after the 4 or 5 ads? Haven’t they basically contradicted each other so you wind up in the place you were before? PC’s have lots of features and a wide price range? Really? MS needed to spend a couple hundred million to state that. Wouldn’t a giant Bill Gates poster at each storefront have been cheaper AND ore effective?

But the most bizarre is is the new, “Your iPod is $30k” ad which makes not much sense on many fronts.

First, apparently their spokesman is the only person in America that has credibility for the portable digital audience to relate to? A bland blonde guy you normally see in a white shirt & biking in your suburban neighorhood asking you if you really ready to convert? Only now it’s to Zune? Was this the only person in America who would sign an affidavit swearing they would use a Zune until the day they died?

Here’s the problem – not only is this guy bland and not credible but what’s the audience that’s this message geared towards?

Teens? What teen would believe it takes $30k to fill an iPod? Never mind that they know an iPod storage can also hold photos, music videos, movies, tv shows, etc AND for those with an iTouch, some 35,000 apps to choose from that is NOT available on a Zune … BUT if we just stick to music?

Teens know there are two alternatives to filling an iPod with just music not counting iTunes … either from CD’s or this thing called Mp3′s on the internet. Sure, many of what’s available is not technically legal but that’s the alternative. Now, the Zune message & the Zune subscription music thing might have more credibility if NO music were available on the internet but to deny it or ignore it makes the spot laughable in 2009. Why not throw in a Don’t Say Mean Things About Other People in Your High School campaign? Or don’t drink until you’re 21? Or always listen and agree with your parents? That’s essentially how out of touch MS is with their message … or if MS is really serious, it thinks teens are morons and doesn’t know there’s music on the internet? And really, while the music industry likes to say it’s all illegal on the internet, there are thousands of bands who give away free Mp3 tracks LEGALLY … in fact, you could probably find 30,000 legal tracks online if you searched and loaded.

Parents? First, the number is so high, it lacks credibility because even if the parents are tech dolts, they know a) their kids are not going to buy $30k of music and b) they know about iTune cards that clearly state the value on them … it’s the equivalent of saying, if you send another mortgage check in every two weeks, you’ll save $200k by the time your 65! Sure, it’s true but does everyone have an extra $3k laying around every month? Or perhaps a closer equivilient of a sat/cable company telling you’ll save $30k on buying DVd’s by subscribing to their service where movies are only $.25 each … but like the music subscription, provided you watch EVERY movie airing …

No. Plus most parents realize that what the kids want is an iPod/iTouch and not another brand … but because MS thinks both parents and teens are morons, they think they are telling some secret that no one knows about – but of course, MS advertising has longed believed that they are the smartest people on Earth and you should start listening to them to better your life.

Adults who know & understand technology? Clearly they realize it’s true in the strictest sense but again, MS is treating tech-smart people as if they cannot find another source of music, available for purchase for less than $.99 a track? The answer would be almost anywhere? What music fan has not bought CD’s priced at 20 for $10 or something like that? Or Amazon is having a 50 digital “albums” on sale for $5 each … or about $.25 a track?

This is also bizarre in that this campaign has MS has effectively telling people this Zune player is “best” as a music subscription device only but the fact is that music subscriptions have been available for 5-8 years and companies such as Yahoo Music & Napster 2.0 & Real’s Rhapsody have run Super Bowl ads to try and convince people subscription music is great but NO more than about 2-million Americas have EVER signed up for one and now that count is around 800,000 … The simple fact is that people love music enough to steal it and buy it and treat it as disposable but Americas do not want to spend $15 a month to play DJ – especially NOW that you can load Pandora or FM.com or AOL Radio on your iPod Touch and have ALL the free “subscription-like” music for FREE … and of course, you also have an iPod/iTouch or iPhone versus a Zune. Again, MS seems to be about 10 years too late to the big show.

And for the non-techies? Honestly, if you have not bought an mp3 player by now, I think it’s safe to say if you’re over the age of 2 … you are not going to buy a Zune to pay $15 a month to listen to music … why? They already have a thing called a RADIO. Buy it once and you get all the stations in your area for FREE. Why would they need a Zune?

So, if you eliminate as your audience teens, parents, tech savvy adults and not interested in technology, who’s left? Yep, Microsoft employees.

So, don’t feel bad about the layoffs or the fact that last quarter, MS sold about $100 million dollars worth of Zune gear while Apple sold $3.3 Billion of iPod & iTouches … you have all these ads to make you feel better. That after you go home with or without an MS job, rest assured you’ll feel better that MS is spending $300 million to comfort you.

It doesn’t actually sell any new products but hey, that would be crass. It’s much better just to reach the few thousands MS employees left … and that’s swell, right?